Jealousy

(first version)

M. Fennell

5/8/97

 

As I watched these people pass me by
Who were nowhere near as skilled as I
I forced a smile and tried to lie
As I felt and dealt with my jealousy

And yet I knew I’d come to find
That what was theirs should really be mine
One arrogant kid made me finally decide
That I should freely be feeling my jealousy

My friends had said that I had changed
That I’d become consumed with rage
But they were just keeping me in my cage
While they shamelessly displayed their jealousy

Oh, did I ever pick up the pace!
Kicking up dirt in another’s face
Knowing that I was taking his place
Hoping he would begin to feel jealousy

I grew strong and I grew tough
I dropped all thoughts of kindness and love
I savored success and yet it was never enough
For I always saw someone above
Who could easily ignite my jealousy

Nearing my end, I philosophize
Wondering now weather it was worth it or wise
To harbor a heart as cold as ice
As I gloat alone, imprisoned by my jealousy